I’m going to be a father (again) soon. And while I’m excited, I’m bracing myself.
I’ve been wondering how to balance the emotional and spiritual investment I make in the development of a community and church; with the investment that one needs to make in a young family. For some reason, it feels like those “investments” (to stick with the metaphor) can’t go in the same fund.
I wrestle with the thought that most of the brokenness I see in communities is a product of family dysfunction and in my mind, it seems rather fundamental to make sure that I can minimize dysfunction in my own family. But then, what does that mean in real terms? How far does integrity extend to my own calling?
I’m a PK (pastor’s kid), so I know well the risk of losing my faith at the expense of father’s commitment to the seven or so churches he pastored or planted.
I suppose the question for all of us is whether or not our family or our work becomes an idol in the way of what Christ can do through us.
May we have no idols before you O Lord — not even my own calling or my family’s security, not my legacy nor my reputation — for you are God of gods and Lord of lords, and before you, may there be no competition. My heart is fickle, make it stand true before you. Remind me of your faithfulness and form me once again, every day, to bear your image again before I forget and return so readily to the habits and the patterns of which I am so familiar. I want to see your kingdom come where people do not go hungry and dreams are not given up so easily, but this is not a kingdom I bring about, I’m a doorman, a bricklayer, a painter. Remind me that my family and my work are both at their best when they are symptoms of my confidence and rest in you. Amen.